Child Love | 74

(photo taken: March 9, 2015)

Not too long ago Milton called me from his job with the kids. Apparently they wanted to find out if I was as mean as he is! For some reason I felt awkward. Then Milton asked me something that made me think about the entire night. "What do you like about kids? Why do you like working with them?" At the moment I couldn't think of anything. Not even a joke. That question hit me hard and my mind went blank. Well the phone call ended and I said bye to the kids, but my mind was stuck on the question. Why do I like working with kids so much? What is it about them that I enjoy?

Here's a small background. My mum and grandma always babysat the neighbors' kids. So even though I am the youngest in the family, there were always little kids around the house. Back then I wasn't too into them. I mean I did like playing with them and stuff, but I was a kid! I didn't have a passion other than eating and fooling around! (Not much has changed) Once I was 12 I got my first job working at a daycare center. You guys from Hope know what I'm talking about. That's when I started to realize I enjoy working with kids!

There were kids from babies to preschoolers. I was able to work in different classrooms and I enjoyed it! Of course with babies there wasn't much to do since all they did was sleep and eat. The first time I fed one of the babies I was freaking out thinking that I was gonna drop him! So I sat down and did it, felt quite nice. Then I'd play with the 2-3 year old. They're so dumb but adorable! Dumb not in a bad way. I mean it in the way that they laugh and find everything hilarious! So it was pretty entertaining! With preschoolers there was more. From playing, reading to them, helping them out with "classwork", etc. Although it was just a few months, I think that's where it all started. 

My mum stopped babysitting and I stopped working, there weren't any kids around. So the next time I was surrounded by kids was freshman year and two years ago. I volunteered at my elementary school and my gosh, that was life changing! I always thought I'd grow up to be a psychologist, but I have too much anxiety to go through that. It wasn't until I was volunteering that I realized what I really wanted to become. 

...I think I explained too much of my "background". Now I'll explain what it is that I love and enjoy. As of late I was working with kindergartners. I decided to do this so I can be doing something useful. I'm not joking when I say this cliche statement: whenever I was having a bad day or was in a bad mood, these kids had something to cheer me up! It can be their actions such as being so happy to see you walk into the classroom. It can be running to hug you after you missed a few days. It can be them coloring or "drawing" during recess and giving their masterpieces to you. It can be something silly like when Carlos said, "I want to grow so I can go on a date". It can be them peeing on themselves. It can be just a simple smile because they did something right or knew the answer to something. When we'd play games, yes they'd get loud and want to cheat, but they knew right from wrong and cheered on their teams like their lives depended on it! These kids are so full of joy, so much energy, and their innocence is something so beautiful! 

There were so many times that they would "fight" with their friends. Because Mia took the crayons with her and wouldn't share with Jocelyn. Because Carlos didn't invite Eric to play during lunch. They will complain and sometimes even cry about what happened. But no more than 5 minutes later you'll see them playing and laughing together as if nothing happened. Are you kidding me? Why can't we learn from them? The world would be so different! 

I'm those type of people that you might get weirded out because I'm looking at you. Don't worry, I'm not creeping. I like to observe people, their actions, their behavior. It was so captivating watching them learn. Making them sound out words so they can spell them out on their own. Watching their tiny eyes squint and move their mouth around or point with their pencils, this is a kindergartner thinking at its finest. Watching them hurry to finish their work before the bell rings. Watching their faces light up when the teacher would reward them with a snack or say it's "party time". So adorable how at that age jumping around is considered dancing. Don't get me started with field trips! The concentrated looks on their faces as they are being told facts about animals. The happiness when they were able to participate in something. This kids aren't afraid. I think I was the most confident at their age than I am now! 

The holidays! I got to see them for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's Day, leaving was so tough! They're so excited talking about their costumes and how their parents will be coming to the Halloween parade. For Thanksgiving telling their friends "thank you for being my friend", and thanking us for being their teachers. Christmas, oh lord! They kept jumping with joy because they promise they've been good all year so Santa can bring them lots and lots of presents. Poor Santa in this economy! Valentine's day was so amazing! No one gets left out, we're all in this together! Everyone brings a card and candy for all the classmates. I came in with cupcakes and treats, I left with so many coloring pages and "drawings" and bags of candies. Trust me, it's not all about the presents. This is the most genuine and honest thing I can say, I didn't care about the candy or cards. The action, the fact that they took some time and thought about Ms.Zulema getting a card or candy. And the way they give you the gram with so much love and those hugs that last 20 seconds, squishing you. I remember coming back after break and they all came running to hug me! This would happen pretty much every Monday actually. I felt bad because it took time away from the teacher so I asked them to save the hugs for later, but it's such a great feeling! 

Then came the day I had to leave, ugh. I got hired at Subway and that meant I wouldn't be able to stay. I told Mr.Rogers until the last minute right before I was leaving. He got upset saying I shouldn't leave and stay, but that it was great news since I was struggling to find a job. Once he told the class their faces dropped. And I'm not saying it because I'm the BEST teacher in the whole world and that's why they were upset. I did the best I could to be a great teacher and I earned their love and got to experience each day of their kindergarten life. They were saying "no, why, we're going to miss you, don't leave" etc. I fought sooo many tears back while I was there! I led them to lunch one last time before I left. They all attacked me with hugs. That killed me inside and I wanted to break down and cry! I was there for about 5 months and it was such a rewarding experience! Once I left and met up with Milton outside the school I started crying. Yes I'm a wimp, but those months and the time I spent there was so amazing! I left in early April and came back in June right before they'd leave for summer vacation. It was only 2 months and I felt there was so many things I missed out on! Melissa's long straight hair was cut to Dora length. My child Carlos lost his tooth. Mia's hair had grown so beautifully. Angel which struggled a lot during school, was able to perform the same as everyone else. So many changes in such a short time. I felt a little sad but so proud of these munchkins. My kindergartners were becoming 1st graders!!! It may seem like small things to others, but you have no idea how much of a huge impact it makes when it happens to you! The best reward was being called Ms.Zulema, or teacher!

The Rocket Review | 73

(photos taken: December 2, 2015)

I've heard that this is such a great mascara from friends and their mommas!...Not really their moms but you get it! I actually bought this when I was probably a junior or sophmore, but I forgot the experience. I do remember that I threw it or gave it away, so I guess I should have known. But being me, I just had to buy it!

This was about $6 something, like always buying it at Target. I heard that this gives you length and a good amount of volume. I did hear that it was clumpy. But I didn't know if clumpy as in the little balls, or clumpy as in it clumps your lashes together. 

Let me start off with the great things about this mascara. I had heard that the brush "hurts your lashes" similar to the "They're Real" mascara by Benefit (which I disliked) but it didn't hurt. The wand is a bit thick but not so bad. I like that it does give the right amount of volume and length. I've mentioned before that I don't like volume, so this gives the right amount! It also stays in its place throughout the day! 

Now the cons. Which I think it's just one and it's the fact that it clumps so much! Doesn't clump your lashes together, but has the little clump balls. It's pretty annoying because as soon as I applied it the first time, right away I had a few clumps! I went in with another coat and I guess it got worse because there were more clumps. I tried using another mascara to remove them but that didn't help. I've heard, and done it before, that when your mascara is dry or clumpy, put the tube in a cup of hot water for a few minutes and it helps to not be too dry. But I guess that's just how the mascara is. It didn't help. I tried it the second day but then gave up on it because it's very clumpy. It flaked a tiny bit, but if that were the only problem I would have kept using it. 

Out of 5 stars I'll probably give it a 1. It's such a great mascara, it's the clumps that make it a bad one, at least in my case. It has good potential with everything else. Would I buy it again? No I'd rather buy something at Subway with those $6. Would I recommend it? Nope. If it wasn't because of that con, this mascara would be my "holy grail"!

Manhandled | 72

(photo taken: January 22, 2015)

According to Instagram, this photo was uploaded 26 weeks ago. If you follow me you know I went on a bit of a rant explaining how tired I am of being called names, being told disgusting things on the street. In my neighborhood! I won't go into detail because it explains it all in the caption along with the fact that I'm not someone who dresses in revealing, provocative, short or tight clothes. I always compare myself to a 12 year old because I have no sense of fashion and never know what I'm wearing. Even though that's what it's going to sound like, I don't wish this on any female...or male. I always see chicks wearing the tiniest clothes ever! That's when I understand why men will be pigs, you're only covering inches of your body that's it. But like I said, I don't wish this even on the girls who dress like that.

This happened today, well January 22nd. I was walking home and I was "man handled", if we can use that term because that's the first word that came to mind when I made the call. I was in the "Westlake" "MacArthur Park" area waiting to cross the street when I feel someone grab and squeeze my left butt cheek. I immediately turn to my right to see two Mexican men standing there. I quickly look from the corner of my eye and see the guy. He keeps walking as if nothing happened and I run up to him screaming "What the f*ck are you doing!?" and punch him in his shoulder. This happened so quick, I didn't get to see his face but I saw him move his hand and I immediately thought he'd take out a weapon or he'd slap me across the face. Fearing it would escalate to something I immediately backed away and called 911! This sounds like it took a while, but I'm just elaborating, it all happened in about 15 seconds. 

DISCLAIMER: His appearance...white male, completely bald, short maybe 5'4 5'5, not fat or skinny I'm guessing "average", he looked like he could be in his late 20's early 30's, big black backpack like a hiking/camping one, jeans, that's all I can 100% remember. He might have been wearing a red/orangeish flannel and a white shirt underneath but I can't say I'm 100% sure. I wasn't able to see his face so I can't say he had tattoos, a scar, anything to stand out. Last I saw he was walking on Westlake between 7th walking towards 8th street. 

How I regret not instantly taking a picture of him! At the moment I just wanted to make the report and find a cop nearby. But you know what filled me up with anger the most? The fact that this was in broad daylight! This happened shortly before 1PM, there were cars passing by, people walking, and NO ONE stepped up. No one asked if I was okay or needed help, no one stepped up to say they witnessed what happened and could report it too. No one did anything! The two "men" that were standing next to me, you know what they did? They kept walking! When I punched the guy there was a woman walking with a stroller and all I saw were her eyes on me as if I was the crazy one for hitting him. Broad daylight, so many people around but it was like if I was alone! I didn't need someone to jump in there and twist his neck and drag him face down, not necessary. I just needed someone to ask me if I was okay and if I needed help! 

DISCLAIMER: If you ever witness something happening, please DO NOT stay quiet and walk away! Your presence is so valuable during these times and even if you're in a hurry, jot down your information and offer to make a report as a witness. If you have time, offer help or assistance, DO SOMETHING don't just stand there. If you're the victim of something do as much as you can to take action! Some people immediately jump into action, for others they stay frozen in shock, but try to get as many details as you can and REPORT the incident ASAP!

By this time I was on the phone making the report, still shaking I decided to stay for a while with a security guy. He asked me for details and gave me some tips and let me stay there for a while before I left. I appreciate the fact that almost immediately there was a helicopter surrounding the area, but they didn't find him. As soon as I got home, I got a call saying the police were on their way to my house for investigation. I made another written report and we went around the area where the incident took place trying to get access to the security footage. An apartment complex, a buffet, a shop, a restaurant, and lastly the police station. We weren't able to find him. The only camera that was in the corner of where this happened wasn't working because they're in "the process of getting new surveillance equipment so they're down." That was the conclusion. Well, not entirely. I was given a card and they said they'll look into it and try to dig deeper. 

Throughout these three hours, almost 4, I was crying here and there. Not only had it escalated from hearing disturbing comments to actual abuse/harassment, but the fact that no one stepped up. That's what got me so angry, what happened to Latinos standing together? What happened to "El pueblo unido, jamas sera vencido"? I always thought this question to myself, do I feel safe in this neighborhood? And I'd go around it, saying there's certain things but yes somewhat. Now I have a concrete answer. No. I don't feel safe here. I've had other experiences such as being slapped, being pushed, and being talked to and followed a bit before but I never really reported it. This was something TOTALLY different! I'm 19, but age doesn't really matter. If this were to happen to someone older, younger, even males, this isn't right and it's definitely something to report and investigate and try to incarcerate the person! It also didn't help the fact that later on a 6th grade girl was harassed nearby and shirt was almost ripped! It didn't seem to be the same person, but I was still contacted for more information. We can't let these people roam the streets, we can't let them "slide" because they are "mentally ill". If they're mentally ill TAKE THEM TO A HOSPITAL! I don't feel safe here and at the moment I just wanted to yell! Walking home I distanced myself from any guy I saw walking past me. 

I think that's all I have to say. And yes in cases like these we do focus on females and younger girls, but this can happen to anyone! Young, adults, elders, male, female, anyone! I can't stress it enough when I say that if you see something please report it! You may think it's not a big deal or that your voice doesn't matter, but you have no idea how much of a help you truly are! And if you're a victim of this, all I can say is I'm truly sorry and I hope these mentally ill perverted people are taken off the streets! Thank you so much for reading this. I know it's long and I know I always thank the readers for taking their time to read my blogs. But this one is extremely special and serves as a warning so please share this with others. Even if you're a guy reading this, (heaven forbid) this can happen to you too or to your mum, your sister, your girlfriend, someone close to you. So stay aware!   

Lift Me Up Review | 71

(photos taken: November 26, 2015)

This will be my second mascara review! No I'm not going to just be reviewing makeup, I just want to share my experiences with new mascaras I've tried since I explained I'm kind of obsessed! If you didn't read my review on the Maybelline Lash Sensational click here to read! Let's get started!

So this mascara was originally $7 something, but I had a discount on the cartwheel app so it was around $5.50, not bad! I wanted to try something that would be similar to Lash Sensational, maybe a little different so I went with a different mascara, different wand, and brand! I've only tried one other mascara from Rimmel, besides this one, and I think I had an allergic reaction because my eyes would burn and itch at times, they looked good but it wasn't worth it! This mascara didn't harm me, so that's good! 

What caught my attention was the fact that it was scented! I didn't think you'd be able to catch the scent, but ohh yes you can! Right when you open the tube you get this sweet fresh smell, I didn't mind it, smelled really good! This mascara has the hour glass shape brush, something I had never tried before so I was both excited but nervous! 

Let's get to it, would I buy it again? No. Would I recommend it? Somewhat, if you like the natural look. To me this wasn't a crazy mascara. It gave me somewhat length not so much volume, it was more like a natural looking mascara! It didn't look bad, I just prefer my eyelashes to stand out with length and some volume! I really didn't like the brush! It was horrible, took me a while to get the hang of it and even then I felt it wasn't getting on my lashes that good because of the curve. I used it for about 2 weeks but it wasn't something I was astonished by. I ended up giving it away. The scent was really good though, I give Rimmel props for that! There wasn't smudging or flaking, definitely NO clumping! That's another plus that it didn't clump, even when I layered three coats (as shown below)! 

(photo taken: November 29, 2015)

I might reconsider buying it if it had a different brush and if I had better eyelashes to make them pop out a bit more! 1 out of 5 I think I'll give this a 2, not my fave! 

Dancing With The Stars S20 | 70

(photos taken: November 24, 2015)

I won't be uploading all the pictures I took because some are repetitive, blurry and there's just a lot. But I just want to talk about the day Milton and I went to the Grove to see the finale of Dancing With The Stars season 20! 

I originally didn't want to watch this season because I didn't think it would be fun since I didn't know anyone, but the first episode got me hooked! Did you guys know Carlos from Big Time Rush married Alexa the girl from Spy Kids? That's beyond cute! The top three finalists included Alek (bae) and Lindsey, Nick and Sharna, and Bindi and Derek! 

We weren't planning on going so it was a spontaneous thing, we just caught the bus and decided to go! We ended up getting there around 3 and there was already a lot of people! We had to make line and they were counting people off into groups as they led them in. It was an outside event but it was closed down so you couldn't just sneak in there. For a moment I wanted to go back home because I remembered that the finalists will be dancing in the ballroom and not outside, and it was only 3, 5 hours until the show began! 

It was also getting cloudy so I thought it would start raining. We weren't too close to the stage so I was putting myself down...but it's a good thing we didn't leave! We actually got to see the finalists for a while so I was happy once that happened! Actually, I was a bit too happy because as soon as I saw Alek I screamed and I somehow leaned in too hard towards Milton and my earring stabbed my ear...there was blood involved. Anywho, once we were close to going on live, they moved us more forward so everything was going in my favor! They used the trolley for the opening of the show, which they later took away so we ended up being really close to the stage! 

(Val Chmerkovskiy pumping us up before we go live)

The other stars started showing up and I was like YES I'M GLAD WE DIDN'T LEAVE! We saw pretty much everyone that was in this season. I have to admit that I'm not a fan of Val, but when I saw him I completely fan girled and just stood there, so Milton tried taking pictures for me but they weren't so clear. I guess he was excited as well!

(Emma Slater slaying before the show started) 

As you can tell and will see, we got the chance to see a lot of people including the ones we wanted! We didn't stay until the end unfortunately, but my night was made just by going! I definitely want to be on the watch for events like this! Since there are more pictures coming I'll just stop here so you can see the rest of the "HD" pictures! Enjoy!

(Carlos PenaVega prepping for the dance that made my night!) 

(Carlos along with the male pro dancers...ohh and Erin)

(The Magic CARLOS dance, not bad at all, Christmas came early!)

(Erin living my dream up there surrounded by Carlos, Val, Keo, and Artem) 

(Emma and adorable Hayes Grier who doesn't look or act like a 15yr old)

(Alek and Lindsey waaay before the show started. This was when I screamed and fan girled too hard that I punctured my ear with my earring...worth it!)

Lash Sensational Review | 69

(photos taken: November 20, 2015) 

First off, if you know me or if you follow me on Twitter you'll know how much I rant on about finding the "perfect mascara", how I hate my lashes and wish to have long and full lashes! I'm always looking for mascara reviews/demos (first impressions videos are my favorite) to see which one I should try out. So I've been trying out some, I still have more to try, and I hope maybe someone finds these reviews helpful! 

DISCLAIMER: I'm not trying to come across as a "beauty guru" or expert, I'm no where close to that. This is just my opinion and it can vary from person to person. Everyone is different and we all have different preferences. 

Going through the cosmetics section at Target I decided to ask the beauty concierge for help instead of just getting a random mascara. Which btw I think Target did great with hiring a beauty concierge because they are really helpful! I asked her what I was looking for and her lashes amazed me so I asked what she uses. She suggested the Lash Sensational from Maybelline. I was skeptical about it because it was $8.99, and I wasn't sure about spending money like that, what if I didn't like it? So I took the risk and went for it. 

I got home and immediately took off the mascara I was wearing and tried it on! The "first impression" I guess you can say, is the picture above, and yes I was really impressed! Here comes the part where I discuss what I like or dislike about it...

First off, just by the look of the tube I fell in love with it! I love the color and it looks like really sophisticated. I was shocked by the brush, I wasn't sure how I'd use it. I really like curved brushes and especially this one it's pretty thick. I know that thick brushes are mainly for volumizing your lashes, something I'm not much a fan of, so I wasn't looking forward to it. I tried it and I really enjoyed it! This is the non-waterproof one and no I don't curl my eyelashes, just for the record! I fell in love with how they looked so I decided to keep it and continue to test it out. 

(photo taken: November 22, 2015)

Some people might not agree, but knowing my eyelashes and how not full they are, this mascara gave them the full and fanned effect! Made them look like I do have a lot of lashes! It does give them length and the the right amount of volume! Not the ugly kind that looks like you got paint and smudged them on your lashes. I only use 1 coat, 2 when I want them to pop out more. 

(photo taken: November 24, 2015)

One eye with and the other without mascara to show the difference...and sorry about the mess I made on my top lid, I'm telling you I'm no expert! There was no flaking, clumping, or smudging of any sort. It does stay on the entire day, on a scale of 1-5 I'll give that a 3.5 or 4 maybe. Overall this mascara worked wonders for me and on a scale 1 to 5, 5 being the best, I'd give this a 5 and I wouldn't mind buying it again! I do 1-5 because 10 is too much for me, I feel there's a lot of factors you have to look through. Maybe one thing I wasn't a fan was that through time it wouldn't like the same at the end of the day. Not so lifted or long, but it wasn't a let down either! I'd still recommend it because not every mascara works for me, I'm pretty picky!  

After A Break | 68

(photo taken: December 28, 2014)

After a month, I'm finally back! I wish I could say that the month break did me well and I feel better, but that's not really the case. Well, before I go on let me just say that this isn't something so dramatic or anything. The past month has been great but there's also been some down moments. I probably mentioned it in a previously blog post here, but I've been dealing with anxiety lately and it seems to get stronger at times. 

First anxiety attack I had was in 2008, except I didn't know what it was but I was freaking out. After that I didn't really suffer from it until the summer before high school, 2010. I didn't know why I was feeling like that, I'd call my mum at work telling her I couldn't catch my breath and that my heart was racing. But it would come and go. It stopped. It then hit me in junior year and I admit I was a bit stressed because of school and my "social" life since I was hating that year in school! It stopped and wasn't too bad in senior year. From 2014 till now it's been on and off, three times that it's been pretty bad. I even went to the doctor earlier today because I wasn't feeling well, so there's that.

I actually never planned on taking a break from blogging. I never thought about it, I just missed a day and then two and so on. I then was in a slump for about 2 weeks and I thought there was no point in blogging or doing vlogs on YouTube, no I didn't fall into depression. I just thought there was no use in vlogging/blogging since there weren't a lot of people seeing them. I said to myself, "a lot of people probably don't even care and it's no use to keep doing this."

But then I remembered the reason why I started this, as well as vlogging. It was because I enjoyed it! Vlogging at first wasn't easy because I was shy. But doing it with my boyfriend and seeing how excited he'd be to vlog, I grew to enjoy it and now I WANT to vlog! I want to vlog us having a fun day because it's really not about impressing others of what we're doing or for people to say we're "goals"...although we do appreciate those comments haha! The purpose is because we enjoy doing it together, we have fun and those vlogs will be there for memories! Same with blogging, vlogging is for Milton and I, but blogging is my own space! Where I can rant, vent, share thoughts, hopefully get feedback or see what people have to say. I did this because I enjoy expressing myself through words and although I'm a shy person, I like to give my opinion on things. I started this blog because maybe there's people who think like I do, maybe they don't and I can understand their position instead of trash talking. I started with a passion, and I can't let that go away!

So, get ready! I probably haven't been doing interesting things so far, but I'm back to blogging! I'm doing this because I enjoy it and I shouldn't care what people say about it. It's MY hobby, it's MY favorite thing to do, why stop because of others or my own negativity? And it's not too late to say: you reading this HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! If 2015 was a bad year, keep your head up and have an optimistic view in this year. And if 2015 was great to you then may this year be even better! Many blessings to you guys and best wishes in this new year! And get ready cause blogging is back! I won't pressure myself to do it daily or do it twice/three times a day, but I will be blogging! Goodnight!