Monday, January 4, 2016

After A Break | 68

(photo taken: December 28, 2014)

After a month, I'm finally back! I wish I could say that the month break did me well and I feel better, but that's not really the case. Well, before I go on let me just say that this isn't something so dramatic or anything. The past month has been great but there's also been some down moments. I probably mentioned it in a previously blog post here, but I've been dealing with anxiety lately and it seems to get stronger at times. 

First anxiety attack I had was in 2008, except I didn't know what it was but I was freaking out. After that I didn't really suffer from it until the summer before high school, 2010. I didn't know why I was feeling like that, I'd call my mum at work telling her I couldn't catch my breath and that my heart was racing. But it would come and go. It stopped. It then hit me in junior year and I admit I was a bit stressed because of school and my "social" life since I was hating that year in school! It stopped and wasn't too bad in senior year. From 2014 till now it's been on and off, three times that it's been pretty bad. I even went to the doctor earlier today because I wasn't feeling well, so there's that.

I actually never planned on taking a break from blogging. I never thought about it, I just missed a day and then two and so on. I then was in a slump for about 2 weeks and I thought there was no point in blogging or doing vlogs on YouTube, no I didn't fall into depression. I just thought there was no use in vlogging/blogging since there weren't a lot of people seeing them. I said to myself, "a lot of people probably don't even care and it's no use to keep doing this."

But then I remembered the reason why I started this, as well as vlogging. It was because I enjoyed it! Vlogging at first wasn't easy because I was shy. But doing it with my boyfriend and seeing how excited he'd be to vlog, I grew to enjoy it and now I WANT to vlog! I want to vlog us having a fun day because it's really not about impressing others of what we're doing or for people to say we're "goals"...although we do appreciate those comments haha! The purpose is because we enjoy doing it together, we have fun and those vlogs will be there for memories! Same with blogging, vlogging is for Milton and I, but blogging is my own space! Where I can rant, vent, share thoughts, hopefully get feedback or see what people have to say. I did this because I enjoy expressing myself through words and although I'm a shy person, I like to give my opinion on things. I started this blog because maybe there's people who think like I do, maybe they don't and I can understand their position instead of trash talking. I started with a passion, and I can't let that go away!

So, get ready! I probably haven't been doing interesting things so far, but I'm back to blogging! I'm doing this because I enjoy it and I shouldn't care what people say about it. It's MY hobby, it's MY favorite thing to do, why stop because of others or my own negativity? And it's not too late to say: you reading this HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! If 2015 was a bad year, keep your head up and have an optimistic view in this year. And if 2015 was great to you then may this year be even better! Many blessings to you guys and best wishes in this new year! And get ready cause blogging is back! I won't pressure myself to do it daily or do it twice/three times a day, but I will be blogging! Goodnight! 

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