(graduation: June 5, 2014
photo taken: October 8, 2015)
DISCLAIMER: Since I did miss a blog post Wednesday night, I figured I'd make two in one day to "catch up". I don't know if I have any loyal readers, but I'll do it for myself.
So remember what I had said in my previous posts about me having high expectations? Well the same story repeats itself for graduation. I'm telling you, so many things have seemed disappointing because I expect them to be over the top. Well I don't remember much from graduation day. I know I tried finding a dress the day before. I bought one at H&M but I guess I didn't examine it right so I returned it. I ended up just buying a shirt at Target and wearing it with a skirt and heels. Yes heels, not wedges, I'm so lucky I didn't fall! Well, I know it was hot that day! Everyone at home was getting ready, I remember I didn't like my curls but I was going to wear the cap to cover at least the top! I got everything ready, and I wore my cap and gown inside the car.
Ohh wait, graduation rehearsals! They seemed endless and were so annoying! There was so much "pressure" to look right and give a great perspective as "Class of 2014", so there was a lot of practicing on the entire class sitting at the same time, standing at the same time, so we all got some squats done! Looking back it was fun, although in the moment I wanted it to be over with.
I got to school and I searched for friends so I wouldn't be the only one outside. I found Kimmy and Jennifer and of course we had to help each other fixing our hair and making sure our outfits were good, and don't forget the pictures! We all ended up sitting by the quad and just touching ourselves up, taking pictures and talking about the day and how we were finally leaving hs, some of us relieved, some of us sad/nervous. After several trips to the restroom we had to go to the gym to line up in order. That of course took forever! The jitters were getting to me, but I was excited to walk the stage and for the whole ceremony! The panorama picture also took forever! It was exciting but I kept thinking we were going to fall! I ended up paying for it since it came with the package, but I never received it! I wanna get a copy of it since Milton, Rudy, and I were all close in the picture!
We were in the gym getting in line and getting ready for the ceremony. The pictures continued while I was texting and tweeting and talking with Jennifer. Finally, we were making our way out! Since I suck at walking with heels, even though they weren't big at all, I was nervous about falling! We once again had to get in line and in order by the softball field before entering the football field. I was nervous, but this whole time it was the happy excited jitters! We finally walked in and I saw my little Mexican family ft. Laura! Btw, thank you for coming! We sat down and the ceremony started. Not even halfway through it I was already bored. Graduation ceremonies are so predictable. People give a speech and words of encouragement, students give speeches of how they struggled both academically and socially but along the way they met great people and had great teachers and experiences, then you have the students who "cry" mid speech, then you have the valedictorian or president who forgets the Pledge of Allegiance. The thing that also sucked is that I was around people I didn't like or never talked to. Plus it was hot. But then finally after the cliche talking it was time to walk stage!
I saw my friends, best friends, boyfriend, people I hate, walk the stage. Clapping, cheering, cringing, rolling eyes, and then it was our row's time to get up. I quickly got up and turned to wave at my family, making sure they got me on camera! I was so nervous of falling. So you know in movies when people say walking the stage is your "I did it" moment and you feel so happy and everything? Well I kind of felt that, kind of didn't. One because I never really struggled. And two, I never forced myself to get straight A's or spent all nighters studying. I was an "average" student so academically, I didn't struggle. Ms.Portillo, my Spanish teacher junior year, was there at the stairs and when I stood there she smiled at me and congratulated me saying "you made it"! Many students hated her, I don't know why. Then they announced my name and I'm like "ayeeeee!" I look like a rockstar in the picture, putting my fists in the air! I was happy, just not really what I guess others felt maybe. I shook Dr.Gomez's hand and as we took the picture (which I don't know if we were supposed to get) he whispered saying I looked even more tall lol. I stepped down, making sure not to fall on my face, and I saw my parents and the rest of the family clapping and waving and cheering me on. Let me tell you, that felt great seeing your family cheer you on and being that happy! But, at least for me, graduating high school doesn't seem like much of an achievement. You're expected to finish 12yrs., that's what you're supposed to do! But I guess it is an achievement and I guess a lot of work because others don't get to walk the stage or even finish high school. So anyway I got off the stage and Rudy captured a picture which I look fab in!
After everyone received their diploma, or should I say rolled up paper, they said some last speeches and then the time came! The time I was really looking forward to. "Parents, family members, I present to you the class of 2014!" or whatever, and we switched our little tassel and threw them in the air! It felt RELIEVING! I felt like that cap carried all the pointless essays I stressed or did last minute, all the crap I received/gave teachers, all the drama, everything negative that happened was in that cap. And throwing it in the air at the end of the ceremony felt right and I was filled with joy! I kind of regret not decorating my cap! Sad thing was that I couldn't hug my friends cause they were far from me. Then the whole process again, making sure we all moved and exited the field at the same time, happy Dr.Gomez?
Outside the football field, the hugging began! One of the reasons I bought my shades for that day was because I thought I was going to cry! But sadness was the last thing I felt that day! I first hugged Jennifer cause ya know, she's my acquaintance, and then everyone else came. I got so happy to hug Tintor (Gucci)! We all made our way to the quad and take pictures. Which one thing I do regret is not taking pictures with friends AFTER the ceremony! I stayed only a few minutes to get pictures with my family, and they were all individual, I don't know why we didn't ask someone to take it all together. I wish I could have gotten pictures with some teachers, and the girls! But I don't know, for some reason I wanted to leave!
I feel graduation comes with many emotions. Some because it was a hassle to pass classes, others because they worked their butts off to have the best and highest grades/GPAs. Btw I could have worn something gold if I had a 3.0 I had a 2.9!!!!! I was honestly disappointed but ohh whale, my fault! Graduation is probably the last time you'll be united with your friends like that. What I mean is being united in the place you met, and the place you "finished maturing", only applying to a few people. The place that probably stressed you out, made you angry. The place you met so many people, some for good reasons, others not so good. The place where you created memories with people and the last place you were OBLIGATED to go to. Some people say once you graduated you completed your four years. But no, you completed 12 years maybe more of education! You worked so hard for a little paper. And although I didn't cry, looking back I feel if I did take those pictures after the ceremony I might have cried. Yes you'll still see your friends after high school, but not everyday. I feel the only reason I said graduation was a bit let down was because I didn't let my real emotions show, and because I was overcome with so much excitement I didn't really think about the whole thing and the "meaning" to it. But it was a great day! I remember my mum would tell me I would miss waking up early for school. No mum, don't get carried away! I miss certain things from high school, definitely not waking up at 6:20...and yet still being late to school!