Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Journaling | 53

(photos taken: July 7, 2015)

Writing has always been a passion of mine! I never knew how to draw, never even knew how to "doodle", so instead of doing that in class, I'd write. I'd write how my day is going, any fun things I've done during the day, something I'm looking forward to, and my I'm feeling. I was never able to keep a journal and finish it. I think the first time I was given a journal was in 5th grade or going to 6th grade. My older brother gave it to me and inside he wrote a note saying that to him music was his escape. He went on saying that now that I off into middle school and becoming a teenager and what not, hopefully writing would be my escape. And it was! Still is!

I do wish I kept writing in all those journals! The first one I started was in the beginning of 5th grade. I wanted to document everything and anything daily. So that one day I could look back at it and laugh at the things I'd be worried about, or what was big during that time. I think I just wrote five entries and then I forgot about it. Another time was entering 6th grade. Same thing, I wanted to keep journaling everyday or at least every now and then to remember my middle school days. Nope, didn't last either. Same thing happened for 8th grade, freshmen year, and I kind of did it for junior year. Not keep a journal necessarily, but instead write down on random pages in my folder. 

I'd either be bored in class or I'd be done with my classwork and I would begin to write. This mostly happened in my third period class which was Spanish with Ms.Portillo. I liked that class, I just hated everybody, and for that same reason I had no friends in that class. Like at all. I didn't speak to anyone the entire year, except once in a while with this one guy but that was it. Since the work was pretty easy and we would turn everything in on Fridays, I'd take that time to write. At the end of class I'd just take it apart and keep it in my backpack. Or I'd also do that in Mr.Perez's class during fourth period (trig/pre-cal). Ohhhhh...I just remembered, that year I was taking adult school! I actually didn't mind it, I enjoyed staying after school because it kept me busy, plus I'd stay with my favorite gals (Jennifer and Kimmy) and the thing I liked about the class is that it was quiet and everyone was doing their own thing. I was taking World History, and unlike regular school, the teacher never spoke (besides when taking attendance) so we didn't have to hear teachers going on and on. Like I said it was quiet, and you go at your own pace! I think that was the best part! You had to wait for the teacher to grade your tests before you went on to the next chapter, so while I'd wait I'd also take the time to write on a notebook. I don't know if I still have them or if I threw them away. I think they ended up in the trash which I kind of regret! But wow, adult school was pretty great!

Once again I really wanted to start one for senior year and follow through with it since it was my last year in high school! I kind of did, kind of didn't. It wasn't until Rudy (I don't know if you read these but if you do ayeee gurrrl!) gave me a pink journal from Target that I basically fell in love with, it's real! I decided to go for it! 

I wrote about my how my days were going, who pissed me off, what "exciting" things were happening in senior year, and then came the lovey dovey entries. Ending high school I still kept writing in it, how my "dreams" were being put on hold, how teachers don't prepare you at all if you don't plan on going to college right after high school, sooo many emotions! There were some days that I just wanted to give up on it, but I'd look how far I had come, I had to finish it! Slowly the left side of the journal became more and more thicker while the right side had fewer pages. My goal was to finish it within a year. But since I would lag and sometimes didn't know what to write, it took a bit longer. 

After 1 year, 4 months, and 1 day, I COMPLETED MY FIRST EVER JOURNAL!!! I actually felt a bit emotional I'm not going to lie! It was an accomplishment because I went with it and I didn't give up on it! Writing my last entry I was kind of sad, but really excited to start another journal! I currently have a little red book, but I've been slacking off so much! I think more now that I have this blog and I'm trying to catch up on the days I didn't blog, it doesn't leave me with much motivation to write. But I'm trying to get back on it! People are always curious as to what it is that I write about. It kind of sucks though, I'm not a poet, I don't write lyrics, I don't make short stories, I just write about my personal life and what I'm feeling. Any thoughts, dreams, hopes, memories, that's what I write about. And since it is personal I don't share it with anyone, but if you ask, just maybe I'll read you an entry...if I trust you that much! 

When I was in elementary school I aimed to be an author and write my own book or something. But now that I'm older that's not what I'm leaning towards. It would be great to major in English, books, reading, writing, GRAMMAR! Reading is power! But I don't think that's for me. I was hesitant creating this blog. I made probably four other accounts on different blog sites trying to find one I could get used to. I decided to just stick here. But I also didn't think I'd actually have this many posts! It wasn't a promise because I knew I'd miss a day here and there, but I've been trying to post every day! I also didn't know if I should do it because I didn't think anyone would read it! Also, if you haven't noticed I write a lot! It happens when I'm really passionate about something, but I usually always love giving details and recalling everything. 

Maybe one day my writing career can actually be taken into action! Or maybe I'll continue blogging and get maximum 10 views per post...

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